Future Eli

I'm so grateful that cell phones, today, have cameras. It's so much easier to capture moments! I'm pretty sure that I've taken (at least) one picture of Eli every single day since he's been born. I'm even more grateful that my phone has a camcorder. I started making these spontaneous videos for "Future Eli." I talk to him as if he's an adult and I tell him what he's like as a baby. I've taken videos of him sleeping (so precious), crying (mean mama!), playing with his activity mat (fun), cooing (I just know he's going to be a talkative one). I always tell "Future Eli" how much I love him and how I will love him no matter what's going on in his adult life as he watches these videos. Rob says boys don't care so much about this type of stuff, but I know in my heart that I am raising the kind of boy that will. So, I will keep on recording and writing to the one that has opened up my heart in new ways!

Eli became 3 months old this past Sunday (10/21/12). He laughs now! I do something that I like to call "Baby Great America" and I lift him way up and then way down, I walk fast around the house with him in my arms, we dance together and I sing (badly) to him the entire time. He loves it: ) He's so interested in people. He really looks at them, he's so aware. Mornings are my favorite. We wake up for the day and I nurse him, change his diaper then we go downstairs make coffee and sit on the couch and talk. I talk slower, he watches me so intently. I tell him about his sisser (this is what we call Emily), and his puppies. I say their names slow. He's paying attention. He's right on track with his developments. Saturday night he graduated from his Pack and Play insert into his Pack and Play (for sleeping at night). The first few nights were a little rough, he's used to sleeping on an incline ... now he's flat. But, we're transitioning and last night went better.

He has a sturdy little head and continues to love his baths! Our favorite is when we put him on his stomach and he props up on his arms and holds his head high. He seems like such a strong baby. The past few days he started doing this screaming thing. It's not unhappiness, it's almost like a squeal - but, much more piercing!

Every time he cries I ask, "What's the matter, Mater?" Mater is the rusty tow truck in the movie Cars. I'm pretty sure I call him Mater more than Bear now. Poor kid.

Eli is waking up one to two times in the night, but more often than not he just wakes up once in the night ... and it's always at 3am which Rob's Aunt Pat informed me is Divine Mercy hour. Based on that, I am going to start using that 3am nursing time as time to pray. It just makes sense to me.

It's so easy to love my baby. He's just so perfect and sweet and untouched by life on Earth. But, I am realistic and know that he (like myself) will become more human and with that comes all kinds of stuff. This is why I am doing the videos ... so, that "Future Eli" will know that I love him not only for his perfection, but for his imperfection as well. The way that I think God loves us.

God is LoVe

3 years ago, today, my very special Grandma H went to be with the Lord. Though she is not physically here on Earth I can, at times, feel her presence. Her and I had a deep spiritual connection. She is the main reason that I know God. She started each day with him. She would sit in her chair and read her daily devotional and pray for all of her family and anyone else in need of prayers. I remember after she passed being worried about who would be praying over all of us! I loved the way that my Grandma "showed" God to her corner of the world. She was so gentle about Him. She didn't spend her time judging what others should or shouldn't be doing. She simply loved His people. She was very active in her Methodist church. Her purpose for her life was to teach all of her family about the Lord so that they may, too, know Him. I loved the sermon at her funeral. It was not about what groups she belonged to or what she did for work...it was about her love of God. It was about her sharing her love for God. It was so beautiful, so her.
Her and I had an agreement (my idea). The agreement was that she would come to me after she passed (if she was able). And, that she would come to me in such a way that only I would understand. I reminded her of this agreement often and she always (in her sweet way) told me that she would not forget.
My grandma loved hummingbirds. I love cardinals (of course I would love the red bird) and rarely ever saw hummingbirds. Rob and I bought her and my grandpa's home in the summer of 2010. That August was the 2 year anniversary of us losing baby Faith. We had a lovely day, but that evening I started getting terribly sad. We had been trying to have a baby for such a long time and it just was not happening. I was sad about our baby, I was sad that it seemed like I might not have another (Eli is cooing as I type this...PRAISE GOD). I went outside and stood on the porch next to the bird bath we had just purchased that day in memory of Faith. When suddenly a jeweled hummingbird came right next to me and hovered over that bird bath. First of all, those birds are quick...you see them and then you don't. Second, I never (at that point) would see hummingbirds. I knew in my heart that somehow everything was going to be okay. And, I also knew that somehow that bird represented my Grandma's (and God's) complete love for me. I often think about how to share God with others who were not blessed like myself to learn about Him. I mean how do you make God real to someone who has not experienced Him? I suppose we share our stories, but more importantly I think we share His love and pray and hope that others see Him in that.
One of our clients, a woman in her early 20's just lost her mama to cancer. Shaunise would get her hair styled every week (until her mama became too ill) with our stylist, Lisa. Her mama, Charmaine, was also a regular. You would never even have known that Charmaine was ill. She was so sweet and so beautiful - and, definitely knew the Lord (He shined through her). Shaunise had a waxing appointment with Lisa last Friday (the day before her mama's funeral service). When she walked in I hugged her right away and told her how sorry I was. I just loved her mama. She couldn't even speak. While Shaunise was getting waxed, I happened to answer the phone (front desk was super busy at that exact moment). The call was from Lisa's next client in line. She had to cancel her color appointment. This client NEVER cancels. I knew, without a doubt, that this was a God moment. I ran back to where Lisa and Shaunise were and I told Lisa that she now had time if she wanted to wash and style her hair too. Shaunise still couldn't even speak. Her sadness (understandably so) ran deep and sharp. I told her we weren't charging her for anything that day. I could feel God using Lisa and I as vessels in that moment. Shaunise's mama knew how much her daughter loved getting her hair done...and I believe, just as I did the "day of the hummingbird," that this was a gift from Charmaine and God.
I know the Bible, I hold a lot of scripture in my heart...but, if I had to explain who God is I think I would tell stories like these. God is LoVe. He is present. He does care. He uses His people (and might I add, we are all his people) to touch others lives. I love that. I love knowing Him. I love resting in Him. I love that He gifted me with stories that may help others to see Him. I don't wish to shove God on others...I desire to show them in that gentle way that my Grandma did.