Today

Today was for him and I. From beginning to end we only had each other. It started snowing close to the time that Daddy would be getting off of work so sadly he had to stay. And stay. And stay. Today, he climbed onto a kitchen chair. And then onto the kitchen table. Today, he got on the couch, with ease, and smiled with his entire face...a proud look that said, " I did it Mama!" Today, he rolled his little 4wheeler near the big blue chair, climbed on top of it, and dived for the chair...with success! Today, we raced against each other. He had his 4wheeler and I had his walker. He beat me. Today, I put him in the back of his metal Tonka dump truck and drove him around the living room. So many times throughout this day we looked into each others eyes and had a moment. Of what? Recognition that we belong to each other, I think. All of these things that happened today were new. I heard that 18 months brings big changes. Eli will be 15 months on December 21st. Today brought big changes.
Today was a precious day, one to hold on to.
My heart is so full of love for our boy.

Crawl

Life has always felt heavy to me. I've asked myself why so many times and I've come to the conclusion. I'm deep. The level at which I operate from is way below the surface. I'm sure to the outside world it doesn't appear that way...I can do social, surface. But, I feel everything at such a deep level. Every moment matters. Every moment is big. I never just have "regular" days or "boring" days. I think I would like to. Tonight after yet another heavy day, Eli greeted me with a giant hug! I knelt down to his level and held him tightly. He's so affectionate these days. My heart melts. We crawl up the stairs together, though we both can walk just fine, and race to the end of the hallway. We pause at the tall mirror that lines the wall at the end of that hallway and stare at ourselves. We giggle. Mother and Son...though in that moment I'm a child too. I thank God for this perspective that my boy brings. The heaviness lifts and in its place is pure joy.