Your Stats

You're still in a size 4 diaper! My what a  skinny waist you have. You can pee in your little potty, but I don't push you. I'm taking the natural approach. The nice thing about being an "older" parent is that I've had lots of years to watch others raise kids and that pushing approach just causes frustration with everyone involved. You will, however be ready way before age 3...and I'll be taking your "pappy" (pacifier) away then to!
You wear a size 7 shoe, size 2T shirts and pants...oh the pants, always an issue! 18 months are too small, 2T are too big...so depending on the day we're either flooding or drowning!
We are so blessed in the clothing dept. I never buy clothes for you Jess (Drake!) from work hooks us up constantly! And, Kelly (Nicko!) too. God bless them!
You can brush your teeth (Thomas toothbrush!), you're not that good at it, yet...but, you are getting better!
I still love bath time. You never want to go in and once you're in you never want to get out!  You like to play with your cups (that have holes) and your tractors (imagine that!).

Dear Eli

Dear Eli,
Next week you'll be 2 1/2 years old. I thought I would write more, but it turns out I'm too busy being present in your life. I thought I'd feel guilty or like lesser of a good mama for not documenting your existence better...but, I just don't. I don't because I'd rather be living than writing about it. I'd rather be fully immersed in you.
You and I are tight. I'm thankful to have balance in our life so that I won't have any regrets about our time together. You're in a "mama do it" stage. I really don't mind, but Daddy does! I know it's because we are able to spend more one on one moments together. Tonight you wanted me to lay with you. I won't always do it because then you'll expect that every night, but once in awhile I need it to. I like to call you things like Baby Bear and Bubba Scrub (don't ask!)...and you always say, "Eli's not (fill random nickname in here)...Eli's Eli." Tonight I asked, "what's Mama?" And you looked me in the eyes and said so sweetly, "Kris." I've only heard you speak my name one other time. There's something about hearing your name...especially out of your babies (yes, baby!) precious little mouth. I just love you! You crack us up! Tonight we went to dinner and you told the waitress that your sister put you in the closet (poor Emily!). A month ago you two were playing hide n' seek and she hid you in the closet. You have a handful of stories and you retell them with such passion! Often when we go grocery shopping, you'll bust out one of those stories to a stranger! You don't get this from me. Santa brought you a semi truck with a trailer that had a backhoe on it. A few weeks before Christmas you met Santa at a local real estate office! You told him you wanted a backhoe for Christmas when he asked. At the dinner table recently, you randomly shouted, "Eli loves Santa!" I'm so glad I taught you about Jesus first. Santa's presents can never trump Jesus's presents. I hope to instill this in you early on.
The other night you were pushing your dump truck around the living room and fell over it, hitting your chin. You cried and kept saying, "I hurt my beard!"
Seriously, was there life before you?
Your Daddy and I are in this consciously. Never does a day pass without us smiling at each other over something you've said or done. Your sister is so good to you. She reads to you and plays with you. My favorite is when you cuddle each other on the living room floor. The age difference isn't an issue. You are simply brother and sister. I hope you have memories of this time of us all being together in such a quality way!
If you end up being a Farmer, no one that knows you will be shocked. You love your tractors and because of you I now know every kind.
You enjoy our Sunday morning drives! Coffee, donuts, lake, excavator, crane.
That's what this ride is to you...a chance to see the excavator and crane by the beach. Even more important than munchkins!
Thank you for your energy and your (big!) smile and your sweetness and your social skills and your sleeping through the night and your cuddles! We love you, Daddy's boy...and Mama's baby.

A Two Year Old

I am Mama to a 2 year old. I've loved all of Eli's stages (and each one has been my favorite!), but this is...you guessed it...my favorite!!! Seriously, I was made to parent this age because I Love To Play! He and I have such a relationship now. He interacts so well. His level of understanding made a big leap once he turned the big TWO. He says everything, but still calls his milk "bodee," even though he can finally say milk. Still has his pacifier (a.k.a "pappy"). He's not a picky eater he just doesn't eat much these days. He's obsessed with tractors and will tell strangers at the grocery store that "the backhoes broken" (it really is) and that "Papa fix it" (which may or may not happen. My Dad has a backhoe and Eli misses the days when it worked and he could ride along. Eli loves Elmo and Thomas the Train and getting read to (yay for his book loving Mama!). We go to parks often as well as schedule play dates. Rob and I are trying to be super intentional about his childhood. We like to give him adventure and new experiences. It's sometimes more fun for us! Big sis, Emily, started highschool and she's loving it. Everytime we drive past her school Eli shouts, "there Ebbie school!" Eli has taken a special liking to Em's friend Reagan, its so cute to watch him when she's around. He shows off, acts silly, and always brings her toys and books to play and read with him. He has spent the night multiple times at both Grandparents and once at Uncle Nate's and Auntie Monica's. Rob and I even went out of town in August to Lake of the Ozarks for the weekend and left Eli for the first time! This is such a fun age. Sometimes he hits or throws a fit, but I know that is normal at this age...overall he continues to be a sweet and social boy who can share and has good manners (please, thank you and even bless you when you sneeze!). I'm thankful to be able to spend so much time with him. My intention is to be present and enjoy each day for the gift that it is. I'm imperfect, but I give him my best and I won't have any regrets when I'm sitting in that rocking chair as an old woman (the Lord willing) looking backwards upon my life at my most important role...Mama.

The Words You Speak

The first word you comprehended was hot. You could say it and understand what it meant. Grandma and Grandpa J taught you hot to keep you away from their wood burning stove. Somehow from that you knew the dryer was hot. When you see the steam from our steamer you call that hot, too! The smoke from our outdoor wood boiler also causes you to yell, hot! Its impressive to watch you discover all on your own. You can say this and that...and as of this week Bobbie and Robbie! :) I taught you baby from one of your picture books and everytime you see a baby picture of yourself around the house you proclaim with certainty..."baby!" You're finally calling me Mama which of course is my favorite word that you say! But, even better...you started saying my Mama. Love that! You chatter all day in your own language, you definitely know what you mean and all of us that spend time with you talk back to you as if we know what you're saying. Though your vocabulary is small, you do know what most things are. You know which dog is Molly and which is Roxy. You know all your farm animals and can bring them to me when I ask for each by name. You know what a book is and when I ask you to put it back on the bookshelf you easily comply. You like to take my car keys and pretend to put them in the ignition of your 4wheeler! You know truck, tractor, wagon. You know sled and outside. When we say outside you go to the closet and pull out your coat and boots. You help Mama feed the dogs each morning. You are responsible for putting their food in the bowls. I give the dogs their bowls because for some reason you get really angry during this part. You just want to walk around with the dishes, not actually feeding the dogs! I'm working on this. You get in trouble daily for standing on chairs. You're a very careful boy...even in your recklessness. Your motor skills have been outstanding for so long. You have incredible balance. I foresee stunts in your future and I'm sure I'll be freaked out! My favorite thing to do with you is play barn farm. I made that up. I think I always wanted that red barn when I was a child...definitely making up for lost time! Daddy's favorite is taking you on outside adventures and playing with your mega blocks. You are comic relief, you are sunshine no matter the weather outside. We are blessed to get to be with you each day. We love you, son.

Snow Baby

Snow Baby
The cool winter air could easily keep me inside. One look at my baby and I'm called to give him an adventure. He gets one childhood ... and we're in it. I desire to give him moments. My heart says these moments are for Mama-too. I bundle us up in our winter gear. He stands at the door with a full smile. I said the word sled...he knows this word. Out we go. He sits patiently as I strap him in. He's only patient when he likes what's coming next. I pull him through the snow. We zip all around the yard. I'm surprised at how much effort this takes! It would have been easy to stay inside and skip this cold and strenuous activity. One look at my happy and seemingly warm baby makes my heart flutter. He will always be more important than my comfort. I want to remember this time...I want to remember to continue to choose him. I'm so grateful for the perspective this child brings.

Today

Today was for him and I. From beginning to end we only had each other. It started snowing close to the time that Daddy would be getting off of work so sadly he had to stay. And stay. And stay. Today, he climbed onto a kitchen chair. And then onto the kitchen table. Today, he got on the couch, with ease, and smiled with his entire face...a proud look that said, " I did it Mama!" Today, he rolled his little 4wheeler near the big blue chair, climbed on top of it, and dived for the chair...with success! Today, we raced against each other. He had his 4wheeler and I had his walker. He beat me. Today, I put him in the back of his metal Tonka dump truck and drove him around the living room. So many times throughout this day we looked into each others eyes and had a moment. Of what? Recognition that we belong to each other, I think. All of these things that happened today were new. I heard that 18 months brings big changes. Eli will be 15 months on December 21st. Today brought big changes.
Today was a precious day, one to hold on to.
My heart is so full of love for our boy.

Crawl

Life has always felt heavy to me. I've asked myself why so many times and I've come to the conclusion. I'm deep. The level at which I operate from is way below the surface. I'm sure to the outside world it doesn't appear that way...I can do social, surface. But, I feel everything at such a deep level. Every moment matters. Every moment is big. I never just have "regular" days or "boring" days. I think I would like to. Tonight after yet another heavy day, Eli greeted me with a giant hug! I knelt down to his level and held him tightly. He's so affectionate these days. My heart melts. We crawl up the stairs together, though we both can walk just fine, and race to the end of the hallway. We pause at the tall mirror that lines the wall at the end of that hallway and stare at ourselves. We giggle. Mother and Son...though in that moment I'm a child too. I thank God for this perspective that my boy brings. The heaviness lifts and in its place is pure joy.