When I was trying to become pregnant for such a long time my Dad finally said to me "you know, Kris, maybe not having a child in the world we live in - today - isn't the worst thing." I understood what he meant. This world is changing. People are becoming more violent...even the weather is becoming more violent. But, while I understood what he meant, I also knew on another level that me not having a child would, in fact, be the worst thing (for me). So much love to give! So much to share! And, now that Eli is here I know that my Dad couldn't imagine life without him.
With 2012 coming to the close, the news is full of the stories from this past year. So much hurt and pain across the world. I try not to give the news too much of my attention. Not because I don't care, but because I care too much. I am like a sponge with the hurt of the world. Did you ever see that movie Powder? There's this one part where a hunter kills a deer and the main character-Powder-has the hunter touch the deer. The hunter is then able to feel the deer dying. This is an old movie and I am not one to remember much from movies, but this scene always stuck with me. I can easily put myself in others shoes, I can easily feel others pain. This is a good quality because it makes me a more compassionate person and I can often anticipate what people need. But, it's also exhausting because there are times where I feel so heavy with the hurt of the world.
I've been thinking about this a lot, lately. Especially since the Sandy Hook school shootings in Newtown, CT. That one really caused a depression in me (and I think most people would agree). I know that, sadly, more evil will occur. Am I going to crawl into my turtle shell of safety each time? Will I attempt to put a bubble around my family? I don't want to live in fear. I don't want to become paranoid. I could feel God gently nudging me to lean back into Him after days of watching too much news and crying. I recently read that thinking about the future and bad things to come causes fear and anxiety...because we're picturing that future without God.
This Bible verse easily comes to mind, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)
I know that God is urging me to live in full Faith. I refuse to sit here and ponder why I would want to bring a child into today's world. What a beautiful world our God made. If we only look at and for the negative that is all we'll see. This is what I'm choosing to see, as a child of God...the outpouring of money and toys that are currently bombarding Newtown, CT from every state in this country! I also think of this, while driving ,and this is a good picture...I look at all the cars on the road, so many cars! So many people following the traffic rules! Amazing that we can all be on the road...and mostly without incident. But, then there are accidents. Tragedy does occur on the road. But, in relation to just how many cars are on the road - the accidents are few and far between. So, we can look at all the cars "getting along" or we can look at the number of accidents. They both exist. Just as good and evil exist. I am choosing to look for the good.
We are blessed to have the Bible because we already know how the story will play out...good shall overcome evil. Let me type that again, GOOD SHALL OVERCOME EVIL (praise God). If we can just hold onto that promise and live our lives accordingly, if we can just realize we each have an important part to play...that what we think and do has such great impact!
Suit up...suit up with the full armor of God and live your life in the full. This is why Jesus came. Not so we can be miserable people! Shine, shine for the world to see! You see, living your life in full is not selfish it is His great desire for us. Us being joyful and centered in the midst of the storm shatters evil. It is powerful. It sends great waves across this world that we cannot even see. Don't feel the need to see your impact, just trust that you are, in fact, impacting.
Wishing you a happy 2013 filled with personal and world HEALING!!!
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