I have come so that you may have life!

When I was trying to become pregnant for such a long time my Dad finally said to me "you know, Kris, maybe not having a child in the world we live in - today - isn't the worst thing." I understood what he meant. This world is changing. People are becoming more violent...even the weather is becoming more violent. But, while I understood what he meant, I also knew on another level that me not having a child would, in fact, be the worst thing (for me). So much love to give! So much to share! And, now that Eli is here I know that my Dad couldn't imagine life without him.

With 2012 coming to the close, the news is full of the stories from this past year. So much hurt and pain across the world. I try not to give the news too much of my attention. Not because I don't care, but because I care too much. I am like a sponge with the hurt of the world. Did you ever see that movie Powder? There's this one part where a hunter kills a deer and the main character-Powder-has the hunter touch the deer. The hunter is then able to feel the deer dying. This is an old movie and I am not one to remember much from movies, but this scene always stuck with me. I can easily put myself in others shoes, I can easily feel others pain. This is a good quality because it makes me a more compassionate person and I can often anticipate what people need. But, it's also exhausting because there are times where I feel so heavy with the hurt of the world.

I've been thinking about this a lot, lately. Especially since the Sandy Hook school shootings in Newtown, CT. That one really caused a depression in me (and I think most people would agree). I know that, sadly, more evil will occur. Am I going to crawl into my turtle shell of safety each time? Will I attempt to put a bubble around my family? I don't want to live in fear. I don't want to become paranoid. I could feel God gently nudging me to lean back into Him after days of watching too much news and crying. I recently read that thinking about the future and bad things to come causes fear and anxiety...because we're picturing that future without God.

This Bible verse easily comes to mind, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

I know that God is urging me to live in full Faith. I refuse to sit here and ponder why I would want to bring a child into today's world. What a beautiful world our God made. If we only look at and for the negative that is all we'll see. This is what I'm choosing to see, as a child of God...the outpouring of money and toys that are currently bombarding Newtown, CT from every state in this country! I also think of this, while driving ,and this is a good picture...I look at all the cars on the road, so many cars! So many people following the traffic rules! Amazing that we can all be on the road...and mostly without incident. But, then there are accidents. Tragedy does occur on the road. But, in relation to just how many cars are on the road - the accidents are few and far between. So, we can look at all the cars "getting along" or we can look at the number of accidents. They both exist. Just as good and evil exist. I am choosing to look for the good.

We are blessed to have the Bible because we already know how the story will play out...good shall overcome evil. Let me type that again, GOOD SHALL OVERCOME EVIL (praise God). If we can just hold onto that promise and live our lives accordingly, if we can just realize we each have an important part to play...that what we think and do has such great impact!

Suit up...suit up with the full armor of God and live your life in the full. This is why Jesus came. Not so we can be miserable people! Shine, shine for the world to see! You see, living your life in full is not selfish it is His great desire for us. Us being joyful and centered in the midst of the storm shatters evil. It is powerful. It sends great waves across this world that we cannot even see. Don't feel the need to see your impact, just trust that you are, in fact, impacting.

Wishing you a happy 2013 filled with personal and world HEALING!!!

5 Months-rollin'

Eli turned 5 months old on December 21st. At his 4 month appointment, the Monday after Thanksgiving, I learned that he weighed 13lbs 4 oz (exactly 7lbs above his birth weight). This picture is at his Drs. appt.
I can finally understand how my mom didn't fill in my baby book. She had one for me and the only part filled out was my name. I have given her a hard time about this for years! Now that I am a mother, I get it. The time moves swiftly. I am very present in my time with Eli. I am enjoying all of our moments. But, with that being said...the time still moves. The fact that I already endured an entire pregnancy and now have an (over)5 month old baby absolutely floors me!
Eli rolled over on December 10th for the first time! For a few weeks, he just rolled from his back to his front, but couldn't figure out how to roll back. Now while he sleeps he rolls all around. I am not a big fan of this because, like me, Eli likes to sleep on his stomach. I know that he can move his head, but I am still worried about something awful happening with his head being down like that. I am a new mama and this is something I have to work through! He continues to wake up two to three times in the night, but for the most part falls back asleep after his bottle. It's probably time to start feeding him baby food, but I'm dragging me feet on that. I know that I have until 6 months - and I also know I'd probably be sleeping through the night if I did start giving him food. I guess I just haven't been ready. My baby is changing so fast and while I look forward to each new milestone, I can't help but look backwards, at times, to that newborn phase. We seem so far from that now and I am a touch saddened by that fact. I still can't believe how much I enjoyed those newborn days!

Month...Four!

Eli will be 4 months old the day before Thanksgiving! I honestly couldn't believe how much I loved having a newborn. That was the part I was most afraid of when thinking about Eli's life. I liked it so much I never wanted him to be anything beyond that. Such a precious time! But, I've got to say 3 1/2 to 4 months is where it's at. I looove this part. He is so aware! Rob built his excersaucer the week before last and we put him in it and he just seemd so little. Emily and I put him in it this past weekend and he was touching everything and really aware of it. He changed so much in just a week! CJ's birthday (he turned 11) was last Saturday, so I went to visit them. Auntie Monica weighed herself with Eli and said he weighs 13lbs. That means he is just about 1lb away from size 2 diapers! Oh my baby!!! I am going to start feeding him rice cereal (or the oatmeal one) this weekend. Everyone I know that recently had a baby said this is the timeframe that they started doing that. Also, Eli is on the verge of teething (yikes!). He runs his little finger through his mouth and he's drooling quite often. Also, when I feed him a bottle he moves the nipple to the side of his mouth...I think it feels good to him. He goes to his Dr. a week from this coming Monday and I look forward to that appointment. I believe that Eli has eczema : ( He has rough circular patches of skin on his back and legs. My niece, Alyssa, has this and Monica said that's what it looks like! I guess one of my Mom's Grandfathers had this. I will see what his Dr. says. Other than that he is healthy and going along just fine with his development. I love how expressive he is. The many faces of Eli. I think I'll always know how he's doing...no poker face with this kid! Monica surprised me for my birthday with this picture of Eli. She bought a camaflouge outfit for Eli and CJ and took a picture of them together for my Dad (we share birthdays) and then this one of Eli in a frame that says Life Is Better With You. I'm having the time of my life right now. I love being a mama. I continue to thank God, daily, for this gift. What an honor to be his mama.

Future Eli

I'm so grateful that cell phones, today, have cameras. It's so much easier to capture moments! I'm pretty sure that I've taken (at least) one picture of Eli every single day since he's been born. I'm even more grateful that my phone has a camcorder. I started making these spontaneous videos for "Future Eli." I talk to him as if he's an adult and I tell him what he's like as a baby. I've taken videos of him sleeping (so precious), crying (mean mama!), playing with his activity mat (fun), cooing (I just know he's going to be a talkative one). I always tell "Future Eli" how much I love him and how I will love him no matter what's going on in his adult life as he watches these videos. Rob says boys don't care so much about this type of stuff, but I know in my heart that I am raising the kind of boy that will. So, I will keep on recording and writing to the one that has opened up my heart in new ways!

Eli became 3 months old this past Sunday (10/21/12). He laughs now! I do something that I like to call "Baby Great America" and I lift him way up and then way down, I walk fast around the house with him in my arms, we dance together and I sing (badly) to him the entire time. He loves it: ) He's so interested in people. He really looks at them, he's so aware. Mornings are my favorite. We wake up for the day and I nurse him, change his diaper then we go downstairs make coffee and sit on the couch and talk. I talk slower, he watches me so intently. I tell him about his sisser (this is what we call Emily), and his puppies. I say their names slow. He's paying attention. He's right on track with his developments. Saturday night he graduated from his Pack and Play insert into his Pack and Play (for sleeping at night). The first few nights were a little rough, he's used to sleeping on an incline ... now he's flat. But, we're transitioning and last night went better.

He has a sturdy little head and continues to love his baths! Our favorite is when we put him on his stomach and he props up on his arms and holds his head high. He seems like such a strong baby. The past few days he started doing this screaming thing. It's not unhappiness, it's almost like a squeal - but, much more piercing!

Every time he cries I ask, "What's the matter, Mater?" Mater is the rusty tow truck in the movie Cars. I'm pretty sure I call him Mater more than Bear now. Poor kid.

Eli is waking up one to two times in the night, but more often than not he just wakes up once in the night ... and it's always at 3am which Rob's Aunt Pat informed me is Divine Mercy hour. Based on that, I am going to start using that 3am nursing time as time to pray. It just makes sense to me.

It's so easy to love my baby. He's just so perfect and sweet and untouched by life on Earth. But, I am realistic and know that he (like myself) will become more human and with that comes all kinds of stuff. This is why I am doing the videos ... so, that "Future Eli" will know that I love him not only for his perfection, but for his imperfection as well. The way that I think God loves us.

God is LoVe

3 years ago, today, my very special Grandma H went to be with the Lord. Though she is not physically here on Earth I can, at times, feel her presence. Her and I had a deep spiritual connection. She is the main reason that I know God. She started each day with him. She would sit in her chair and read her daily devotional and pray for all of her family and anyone else in need of prayers. I remember after she passed being worried about who would be praying over all of us! I loved the way that my Grandma "showed" God to her corner of the world. She was so gentle about Him. She didn't spend her time judging what others should or shouldn't be doing. She simply loved His people. She was very active in her Methodist church. Her purpose for her life was to teach all of her family about the Lord so that they may, too, know Him. I loved the sermon at her funeral. It was not about what groups she belonged to or what she did for work...it was about her love of God. It was about her sharing her love for God. It was so beautiful, so her.
Her and I had an agreement (my idea). The agreement was that she would come to me after she passed (if she was able). And, that she would come to me in such a way that only I would understand. I reminded her of this agreement often and she always (in her sweet way) told me that she would not forget.
My grandma loved hummingbirds. I love cardinals (of course I would love the red bird) and rarely ever saw hummingbirds. Rob and I bought her and my grandpa's home in the summer of 2010. That August was the 2 year anniversary of us losing baby Faith. We had a lovely day, but that evening I started getting terribly sad. We had been trying to have a baby for such a long time and it just was not happening. I was sad about our baby, I was sad that it seemed like I might not have another (Eli is cooing as I type this...PRAISE GOD). I went outside and stood on the porch next to the bird bath we had just purchased that day in memory of Faith. When suddenly a jeweled hummingbird came right next to me and hovered over that bird bath. First of all, those birds are quick...you see them and then you don't. Second, I never (at that point) would see hummingbirds. I knew in my heart that somehow everything was going to be okay. And, I also knew that somehow that bird represented my Grandma's (and God's) complete love for me. I often think about how to share God with others who were not blessed like myself to learn about Him. I mean how do you make God real to someone who has not experienced Him? I suppose we share our stories, but more importantly I think we share His love and pray and hope that others see Him in that.
One of our clients, a woman in her early 20's just lost her mama to cancer. Shaunise would get her hair styled every week (until her mama became too ill) with our stylist, Lisa. Her mama, Charmaine, was also a regular. You would never even have known that Charmaine was ill. She was so sweet and so beautiful - and, definitely knew the Lord (He shined through her). Shaunise had a waxing appointment with Lisa last Friday (the day before her mama's funeral service). When she walked in I hugged her right away and told her how sorry I was. I just loved her mama. She couldn't even speak. While Shaunise was getting waxed, I happened to answer the phone (front desk was super busy at that exact moment). The call was from Lisa's next client in line. She had to cancel her color appointment. This client NEVER cancels. I knew, without a doubt, that this was a God moment. I ran back to where Lisa and Shaunise were and I told Lisa that she now had time if she wanted to wash and style her hair too. Shaunise still couldn't even speak. Her sadness (understandably so) ran deep and sharp. I told her we weren't charging her for anything that day. I could feel God using Lisa and I as vessels in that moment. Shaunise's mama knew how much her daughter loved getting her hair done...and I believe, just as I did the "day of the hummingbird," that this was a gift from Charmaine and God.
I know the Bible, I hold a lot of scripture in my heart...but, if I had to explain who God is I think I would tell stories like these. God is LoVe. He is present. He does care. He uses His people (and might I add, we are all his people) to touch others lives. I love that. I love knowing Him. I love resting in Him. I love that He gifted me with stories that may help others to see Him. I don't wish to shove God on others...I desire to show them in that gentle way that my Grandma did.

Two Dogs & A Baby

Eli doesn't yet know it, but he is a future pack leader to two big female Rottweilers. I love my girls and though I have always trusted them around children, I wasn't sure what they'd make of the baby...they'd never seen one of those! I was pretty confident that they would just want to lick Eli...like all the time. But, there was a (small) part of me that was concerned. Thankfully, I was right and yes they do just want to lick him. I don't keep the baby from them. From day one I let them have their time with him (supervised, of course). We'll have to be careful once Eli starts walking though because Molly and Roxy have no idea how big they are (75 & 85 lbs). They are a herding breed and I often find myself being herded!!!

Molly (our almost 2 yr old Rott) is Mama Dog. She has to follow me every time Eli needs a diaper change. When he cries, she looks at me like "aren't you going to do something about that?!" When we first brought Eli home, Molly would cry everytime he did for the first few weeks. It really bothered her! I love my dogs and I love my baby and I'm just thrilled that it's all going so well.

                                                                 Eli + Mama Dog, Molly

Eli + Roxy on her 8th birthday (8/15/12)

Don't Blink

And, just like that Eli is a 2 month old baby (as of this past Friday the 21st)! Last week I packed up his newborn clothes, he definitely got his use out of them though (due to the days we were sometimes in 3 different outfits thanks to a certain brand of diapers that shall remain nameless) ; )
He had his 2 month checkup today and that went quite well. He now weighs 10lbs 13oz! Last month he weighed in at 9lbs 2oz. He's definitely making up for being born a few weeks early! Eli is 22.75 inches long. He is now able to hold his head up for a short time and he can also let go of your hair after he grabs it (before you'd have to pry his hands off of you). He does a lot of cooing...so cute, sounds like oooooooh. Rob will sit for long periods of time and go oooooooooh and Eli will oooooooooh back to him. Yesterday, Rob told me that he can feel the bond between him and Eli when they do their back and forth oooooooooing as they look into each others eyes. Rob says he just knows that Eli will want to hang around with him all the time because he's so cool. I just smiled and said, of course honey!  Seriously though...inside, I was extremely happy. What woman doesn't want their husband to be crazy about their child? It's just so beautiful. The Dr. was impressed with Eli's social skills. He watched her with such interest as she spoke softly to him. He also followed her movements, all good signs! He was in such a relaxed state during the visit (even after having his rectal temperature taken). I was glad about that as this was my first time taking him by myself. Everything was fine until he had to get 3 shots (vaccinations). He cried so intensely that he lost his breath. If I hadn't experienced this before I am sure it would have freaked me out, but I expected it this time and I knew he'd be okay right after.

His next Drs. visit is the end of November..he will be 4 months old then! I know that will be here before I know it (like that country song says, "don't blink").

Plant, Water ... Wait

This morning I was looking out my dining room window and saw a beautiful jeweled hummingbird in my backyard. It then flew to the front of the house and began eating the sweet nectar from my impatiens. As I watched it fly from flower to flower, I realized something. If I hadn't planted the impatiens and kept them watered, I would not have had that precious moment. It's such a great analogy to living life close to God. He is always present, behind the scenes, working out what we cannot see. But, we have to do our part. I'm big on praying, but pairing praying with action is even more powerful.  I once read that faith is an action word. I love that ... it's believing plus doing. It's waiting on God, but walking towards him while you're waiting. We have to plant ... and it doesn't end there. Then, we must water regularly. And, as we're watering we wait. The results are not always immediate. In fact, they usually aren't. I have a friend who is currently struggling with infertility. I'm trying to be a light in the darkness for her (because I know the season she is in all to well). I tell her it's okay to feel sad and depressed, but to let those feelings only have moments -don't let them take root. I'm praying for this friend. And, as I'm praying for her I'm thanking God for Eli. That I am on the other side of that struggle. That he met me and gave me my hearts desire. When I pray for my friend I, of course, am asking for her to receive a blessing. But, more than that I'm asking that she discover God in a deeper way. Because traveling with him, sure makes the load of the journey lighter!        Matthew 11:30    "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

40 Days

40 days I've been a mama to Eli. I've only been apart from him for two hours and that was because I made Rob make me leave him...just to prove that I could. Emily and I went to Target and I couldn't wait to get home (so many crying kids in that store, it was killing me)! I'm back to work very soon and know that I am going to have some separation anxiety. Eli will be fine and I will too - in time. Human beings are adaptable and I know that I will adapt - just like how I am now used to waking up thoughout the middle of the night...I will get used to our apart time. He will be in the hands of the best possible caregivers (our moms and our sis-in-law) - people that love him, people that he will love. I understand that Eli is not just for Rob and I and I'm happy to share so that he may be a blessing to others lives and they'll certainly be a blessing to his! I'm so thankful for this precious stretch of time that he and I have had together.

A New Song

Psalm 40:3 "He put a new song in my mouth."
August 22nd was the 4 year anniversary of baby Faith. Gosh, 4 years! I did not honor her coming and going the way I normally would. I didn't purchase anything new for the garden. I didn't write a poem and post it on my blog. I did, of course, think about her and gave thanks for how far this 4 years has brought us. I remembered that when I wrote about Faith last year (on her day) I ended with this, "I really just want to release it all. Like a butterfly that I've been holding tightly in the palm of my hand, I want to open my hand and let her fly."
I think I was truly able to do that. To let go. Letting go did not mean forgetting. Letting go released her (completely) to the Lord. Letting go made room for a blessing...the one I'm holding as I type this (it's a little tricky to blog with a baby in your arms, but I'm a mama now and we make do)!
Yesterday, we received Eli's social security card in the mail. I was quite excited about that especially because I always love seeing his name! When I saw the issued date, I knew it was a God moment just for me...August 22nd. Faith's "lift off to heaven" date stamped right there on Eli's card. There are those times in life where you just know, with complete certainty, that all is exactly as it should be. Praise God for a new song!!!

Happy Bear

During my pregnancy Rob would ask regularly, "How's mama bear doing?" I loved being called mama bear. In fact, when thinking about what I hoped Eli would call me someday it was always mama. Not momma, but mama. So, naturally when Eli came along I had to call him baby bear...which turned into bear after a few days of being home. I keep a daily log of feeding times, how many times he poops and pees, when he takes naps, how he slept the night before, etc. When he takes naps I write sleepy bear and when he is up and alert I write awake bear. His nickname has taken on a life of its own! It makes the tracking fun for me. My niece Alyssa even made up a song to sing when he is upset..."He's a happy happy bear, he's a happy happy bear, whose a happy happy bear? He's a happy happy bear." She takes his stuffed bear animal that Aunt Margie got for him (in honor of my name for him) and she makes it dance as she sings the song to him. He LOVES this. He always stops crying. I think it's her sweet little kid voice because I've sang him that very song and the magic is lost!!!
Rob told me that Eli's going to think his name is Bear for as much as I call him that ; )

You're Gonna Miss This

Being home with Eli has been the most special time in my life. Before I became pregnant with him, the Lord had me on an important journey in discovering Him. During that time, I learned something enormous and that is this ... only God can fill the empty places in your life. Only God can fill the empty spaces in your heart. I did not "need" a baby to fill something. I wanted a baby to add something. Because I was paying attention to my lessons along the way, by the time I became pregnant with Eli, I felt whole within myself. Yes, I wanted a baby...yes, I desired to be a mama. But, there is no pressure on Eli to make me whole. It is not his job to fill my cup...that is my own work to do. Being Eli's mama is amazing because he's adding so much joy to our life. What I know about our son, so far: -he has my chin and daddy's lips, he has daddy's eyelashes, but I think his eyes are on their way to brown - like mine. He smiles often, but he's also quite serious. He loves to stare at a lamp in a dark room - he's in complete awe. According to our pediatrician, babies at this stage like contrast! He dislikes being in a dirty diaper and he gets hangry (hungry/angry)like mama! He likes his pacifier sometimes, but enjoys his fingers and thumb more...daddy's not so happy about this, he sees dollar signs (a.k.a braces). Doesn't bother me, I sucked my thumb til' I was 9 (true story)...and yes, I had braces :) He loves movement...always falls asleep in the car, stroller or swing! Rob has actually taken him on a car ride at 1 a.m to put him to sleep during one of those rough nights! He also loves white noise like his daddy and mama. It's easy for me to get myself ready with him - the sound of the shower, the fan in the bathroom, the blowdryer ... these are comforting sounds to him. He likes tummy time and I believe will be rolling over way ahead of schedule. He is a very determined little fella'! He also likes his activity mat. He hits and pulls at the animals and likes to kick them with his feet - too! He loves being sang to. Rob and I both have a talent of making up songs on the fly (we do not have the talent of actually having a nice singing voice). I wish some of them had been recorded, they were actually quite impressive! My dad always made up songs and sang them (badly) when we were young - clearly I got this gift from him. Eli makes a lot of cute little noises. Rob is such a light sleeper that these cute noises actually wake him up...he might not find them so cute in the middle of the night! :) He finally likes bathtime! He used to scream at the top of his lungs during this time, but now he is quiet and happy. I always save the baths for Rob so that we can do it together, it's such a special time. Plus, much easier with 4 hands! I am so grateful for Eli. I'm so content. Holding him, rocking him, looking at him, playing with him...even changing his diaper! I love all the moments. I know this time will pass by and I'll never get it back. My intention that I set for myself is to enjoy each interaction with him. It sure makes the middle of the night a lot easier to get through! I'm so beyond thrilled to be his mama! It's added a new and glorious dimension to our life. It's better than I could have ever imagined. He truly is a gift, one to be opened with each new day. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.

The Heart of a Mother

I decided to breastfeed Eli, long before he was born, for the same reason that I prayed to give birth naturally (meaning no c-section). God created a woman's body to do amazing work and I wanted to honor that as much as possible. I know this doesn't always pan out for every woman, I am thankful that it has for me. I've given birth naturally two times now. One with a devastating outcome and the other with a perfect outcome. Isn't that just like life...you take the good, you take the bad -you take them both and there you have. Life. It's just this way. To accept this. To surrender to this, I have learned is the key to having joy in your life while the storms are raging. One of our very dear clients (an awe inspiring Christian woman, a ball of energy, the most wonderfully positive person you ever want to meet) whom I've known my entire life (my mom was her mom's hairdresser) just lost her 16 year old son to a very brave fight against cancer right after I had Eli. He was just diagnosed with Lymphoma in January of this year. His body was responding well to the treatment (this particular type of cancer has high success rates with treatment) ... and then it wasn't. Everyone was shocked! He was a healthy, active boy. How does this happen? WHY does this happen? I sobbed while rocking my new baby. Looking at him, thinking about his future and how it will all unveil. While I was still in the hospital with Eli I had a talk with God. I was so emotional because when I gave birth to our son, my heart was blown wide open. Oh, to have the heart of a mother. I told Him that I was giving my son over to Him. That I would not carry the worry myself. That I could not or I would go insane. Giving my son to the Lord does not mean that he will have a long and fruitful life. This reminds me of Sarah and Abraham in the bible...how Sarah struggled to have a child and it took many, many years for her to have their son Isaac. And, then the Lord asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. After all that!!! After it took SO long to receive that child? But, Abraham eventually did. And, The Lord did not take Isaac. But, I think about how he could have. I cannot stay attached to how I think Eli's life should or will go. We will give him our absolute best. We will love him unconditionally, we will teach him, we will guide him, we will pray for him, I will tell him all about God (SO many personal stories), I will tell him how so many people prayed for him to be born. We will give him the best environment possible. But, ultimately his life is in God's hands. Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."

Eli's Birth Story

Eli Mitchell born July 21st, 2012 @ 9:34am 6 lbs 4 oz 20 1/2 inches... and just like that I'm a mama. August 6th was my actual due date - but, Eli decided to show up on the scene early(37 1/2 wks)...so I am well into mamahood already! On Friday, July 20th Rob and I took Emily to Red Lobster (her choice) for her birthday dinner. Her birthday is the 21st, but we had her Friday night to Saturday morning as she had plans on her special day! We had the best time. The food was so good (I had a lobster pizza appetizer AND coconut shrimp with mashed potatoes). We were joking a lot about Eli's butt. Talking about how big it must be ... he was moving it a lot during dinner. Looking back on it now, I think Eli wanted to come out early to defend himself :) More often than not when we go out to dinner, Rob and I feel that we're held hostage by the check (this was either a Seinfeld episode...or would have made a great Seinfeld episode). It's like where did the waitress go when we're ready to leave? Did she go home? Is she outside in a car making out with her boyfriend? Seriously, we even ask for the check and they don't come back for the longest time...so annoying. While we were waiting (patiently) for our check to arrive, we were joking about how we should pretend like my water broke and just dine and dash. We would never do that, but it was fun to talk about and it made the time go by as we waited. Rob, Emily and I have talked about this dinner quite a few times since Eli was born. It was like everything led to what happened later that night... Then, we came home from dinner. I had made Emily a heart shaped cake (she loves when I do this). We decided to bring it next door to my parents (it was late, like 8:45pm) so they could help us eat it...plus, more fun for Emily to have more people singing Happy Birthday to her besides her Dad and I. My brother and CJ were there - too. We ate the cake (yum!) and then I heard someone coming thru the front door. For some reason it scared me...I thought some random person was walking into their house. It was Alyssa being dropped off by her Grandpa Jim. Everyone was making fun of me because I got so scared ... they told Alyssa that she was going to scare the Eli out of me!!! Less than 5 mns later, I start picking up the plates off of the table and I feel a gush. I said, "I think my water broke." I started running to the bathroom and it just kept coming...I yelled, "My water broke!". Everyone got up and was running around, all excited. Rob, Emily and Alyssa went next door to get my things. Honestly, it was a perfect situation to be surrounded by family like that. I think they enjoyed it : ) While I was in the bathroom, waiting for Rob to come and get me, I couldn't help but think about how when I go home next it would be with a baby! And, then I was thinking about how I wouldn't see my dogs for a few days and that made me sad. It was such a moment - a little moment - of realizing how life as I knew it would be forever changed. I knew Eli wouldn't be born that night...there was only 3 hrs left to that day and I know babies don't normally come that fast. I told Emily that I was sorry her brother was a birthday thief...he would definitely be born on her birthday! She didn't mind. What are the odds?! Of all days! This is not unusual in my family...I was born on my Dad's birthday and Alyssa was born on my mom's birthday. Got to the hospital and was still only dilated at 2cm. The nurse said if I didn't dilate more by 4am that they were going to induce the labor. At 4am, they did just that. At 5am the contractions started. From 5am-8am I was pretty miserable. At 8am, a nurse came in to do the epidural. This takes awhile and it takes about 30mn to kick in after it's all set. After they did the epidural my contractions got worse. They were surprised that I wasn't feeling the effects of the epidural. I told them that everything got worse since they installed it. The nurse checked me again and I was dilated to a 6. They said it would be awhile longer and they left the room. Right after they left the room, I told Rob that it feels like Eli is ready to come out. I told him that I know my body and my body wants to push the baby out. I made him go get the nurse. She checked me again and was shocked to discover that I was fully dilated and that my body was indeed ready to eject Eli out. Ha! She told me that I was not to push, the Dr. wasn't there yet and she'd get in trouble if I started pushing. She told me to breathe through those contractions. Let me just add how HARD it is to not push when your body really, really wants to push! My Dr. was not on call that weekend. So the Dr. whose weekend it was, came running down the hall yelling, "Don't Push, I'll be right there!). He was Korean and funny and honestly the perfect person to deliver in that moment. The good news about the epidural not kicking in was that I could feel exactly when I needed to push. When thinking about delivering Eli (before I was in that situation) I was always worried about the getting him out part, not the contractions. Actually, it was the opposite for me once I was actually in labor...the contractions were tough, really tough - but, the delivering was not so bad. I got Eli out in two good strong pushes. I couldn't believe it when they told me he was out. I'm all like..."for real, he's out?!" And, "is he ok, are all his parts there?" Silly, silly me! And, then they gave him to me. And, it was all so amazing. I kept thanking the Dr. and the nurses. Thanking them that those darn contractions were over, thanking them that my baby was (finally) safely in my arms. What a journey! What a blessing baby Eli is. We kept him with us that day and through the night. The nurses taught me how to breastfeed. Sunday morning he was circumsised (by same Dr.) and we went home that afternoon! So much to say about being home with Eli, but this post is his birth story - so, we'll leave it at this for now! I decided to start this new blog not because I am "over" Faith, not because Eli being here has bumped her importance to my life/our life. But, because God gave me a new chapter. Thank you, Lord, for this complete and perfect gift.